EPISODE 58 | MINI MINDFUL MOMENT | Moving From "I Deserve" to "I Have."

Hey there, Hilary here. Your go-to gal to help you form a plan to reclaim your fertility and create a healthy family for generations to come, all while staying sane along the way. I've got another mini-mindful moment for you today to help you combat the stress  I know you are bombarded by on your fertility journey.

Today's meditation is an excerpt from my new 30 days of fertility meditations program if you want instant access to more meditations just like this one, along with writing prompts and calming images to take your medication in to your day and to go deeper, just head over to LadyPotions.com and click the meditations tab to find the link to purchase or the tab that says, "Work with me."

I'm sure you've heard time and time again that stress negatively affects fertility and pregnancy, I'm sure that you've been told on more than one occasion to just relax and it will happen, that probably really makes you stress out maybe, even want to punch that person. Now, you can't exactly go around cutting all the stress out of your life. I mean, fertility challenges alone are stressful, your partner or your job could be your main source of stress so what are you supposed to do? Give up? Quit? Not a chance.

You make a game out of making friends with your stress response, you acknowledge it. You know what's going to happen and you get good at catching it before it becomes a freight train careening out of control, then you see how fast you can change your stress response into a relaxation response by trying on one of these little beauties from our mini-mindful moment's installments.

Meditation and mindfulness techniques and the ability to turn on our parasympathetic nervous system or what's known as "the breed and feed part" of our minds. Our evidence-based practices that not only enhance the fertility but they can also help you hold a pregnancy, even if it's high-risk.

Remember, it's not stress that's enemy, it's how fast we can get back into the relaxed state that really matters. I don't know about you, but this is not something that I was taught when I was younger. I had to go looking to find how to do this on my own and that's exactly why I've created this for you.

These mini-relaxation techniques are quick, easy to apply throughout your day and restore your relaxation response in moments. Keeping your mind broadcasting the message to your body that it's a safe time and place to create life. Helping you feel back in control of your stress and ready to conceive.

Today's meditation has to do with your ability to move from the mindset of " I deserve", which is actually a victim based mindset, into the mindset of "I have" as if it already happened. We are racing our biological clock or leading a life where we are trying to cram in everything all at once. It is very easy to push the body past as normal limits. We begin to deplete our adrenal glands in the name of achieving, forgetting that adrenaline is a precious substance to be used wisely instead of freely.

Unfortunately, the more we pump our adrenaline by overextending ourselves, chugging coffee and energy drinks, staying up too late, binging on sugar, the more addicted we become to this state. When we start to get depleted we become emotionally leaky and the recording in our head starts to whine saying, " I deserve." Instead of recognizing all that you have, pushing you to keep overextending yourself, keeping you trapped in a cycle of exhaustion and ill satisfaction.

The next time you hear yourself or your partners say, "I deserve" or "I want." Try replacing it with "We have so much." The reason for this is that like attracts like, the shift in thinking in speech will help to magnetize us into a place to receive more abundance into our lives. It will help us to create the lives we desire through a sense of gratitude rather than a sense of entitlement.

It is said that the root chakra governs our adrenaline glands and the connection with our nervous system that decides when and how much of a state of fight-or-flight we will be in, has a response to any thought, conversation or experience we have. Our second chakra covers our reproductive hormones, largely in part to the messages it receives from the root chakra.

If adrenaline is flowing our sex hormones are not. Not only does this deplete our ability to physically create healthy offspring, it also depletes our libido and our desire to connect because when adrenaline is high, it sends the message to every single cell that we are not safe. Most women need to feel safe and a desire to connect before sex even enters our minds.

 When we try to make a baby from this state, it becomes one more thing that we have to cross off our list or achieve rather than a product of desire state of union with our partner. We're in a constant mountain-climbing of achieving, the idea that a baby is never achieved and only received can seem extremely foreign and evasive. 

 We have to take the time to get calm and grounded so that we aren't accidentally hijacking our own sex hormones like estrogen, progesterone, and testosterone if we want to create a baby out of a state of union. Even if you're already doing IVF, you still want to be able to connect with your partner and enjoy it.

Today's meditation will focus on the connection between the first and second chakra, stabilizing our fight-or-flight response in order to help us regulate our reproductive hormones. Helping us to move from, "I deserve" to "I have." So, let's get started.

 Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down. If you're sitting, make sure that the spine is erect without tension. We call your alignment exercise from day one, stacking each chakra over the next from the pelvis up. Imagine that there's a string at the top of your head pulling everything into perfect, yet gentle alignment. 

Begin to observe your breath, just the gentle entering, and exiting using the part of your mind that's listening to my voice. Observe its inhaled and its exhales if you've had a particularly stressful day and you are in a place where you feel comfortable to exhale audibly, just let that go with the breath.

Maybe you can even imagine your worries or your stresses leaving on the wave of each exhale.

Gently begin to move your attention away from the breath and into the center of your head. Move your awareness all the way down to the base of the spine, the root chakra located in the center of your body between the perineum and the last vertebrae.

Maybe you can sense its deep red color.

This area is open and free of energetic debris. We feel stable and calm, provided for and safe.

Allow this chakra to begin to spin in your mind's eye or maybe just a sense of energy that you have in this area. Don't worry about which direction it spins, just imagine it's going like a gear.

As it moves, it burns off any insecurities around not having enough.

About a handbreadth above that chakra is the second chakra or our sexual chakra. Maybe, you can see or imagine its brilliant orange light, again, looking like a gear. This gear begins to spin in an opposite direction though from the root chakra below it, like interlocking watch gears feeding energetically off one another, bridging the gap between adrenaline and our reproductive hormones. When our second chakra is open and free, they are like a magnet.

Polarizing our partner to come next to us, near us, to be with us to create life. We're also a magnet of abundance, drawing in our heart's desires, the ability to form them into completion. Allow yourself to just sit for a moment with this visualization of the red and orange gear interlocking with one another, cleaning out any limiting beliefs as they spin.

 The vibration to strengthen the root chakra is lam, L-A-M, lam.

The vibration to strengthen the second chakra is vam, V-A-M, vam.

For the next five minutes, sit quietly with your awareness and attention in your lower abdomen in these two chakras. Listening to the silent repetition of lam vam, lam vam emanating from this place, strengthening your ability to remain calm in the state of stress.

Remember, the mantra is never forced. It's always gentle and when you find that you've drifted into thoughts or physical sensations, which is completely normal, just come back to listening to the silent repetition lam vam, lam vam. I'll ring a soft bell when it's time to let the mantra go.

Gently release the mantra, allow yourself to sit quietly for a moment and just observe the shift that you've made into a state of calmness, greater well-being, and heightened reproductive capability. You can say this any time, any place yourself that you need a little reminder to just stay calm, lam vam. Bye for now.

Thanks for listening to Fertile Minds Radio, hosted at www.LadyPotions.com, where you'll find past episodes, show notes, and free meditations. If you've benefited from what you've heard, leave a comment or review so it makes it easier for others to find this valuable wisdom. Let's help elevate each other. Thanks for listening.

photo credit Charles Postiaux @charlpost

@ladypotions4u on Instagram

EPISODE 54 | MINDFUL MOMENT | Creating Certainty When You Are Anything But


Description:

When people have more awareness, they have better health physically, mentally, and emotionally. This is why how we form thoughts from past experiences, and being aware of those thoughts that become beliefs is so important to observe and become aware of. In today’s episode, Hillary talks about harnessing the power of our brain to rectify its belief, or to create certainty in the future ability to become a parent. She discusses creating certainty to buy your way through the tough moments, so you can keep taking action in the correct direction, creating positive momentum, and a meditation to separate our thoughts from our deep inner wisdom and guidance.

 Takeaways

[2:48] Certainty is the currency for your dreams of creating a family, yet our brain will try to dissuade us from risking the uncomfortable thoughts of pain and failure.

[4:15] When people are operating at the highest level of consciousness, they have a higher chance of coming up with creative solutions to seemingly unsolvable problems. They have more confidence, and when we have more confidence, we gain positive momentum, which is the key to manifesting the life of our dreams quickly. When large groups of us are in this mindset, it’s like a chain reaction around us and it’s almost contagious to all of those we come in contact with.

[5:33] Elizabeth Markie, founder of Tribrain Yoga says, “Thoughts are electric and feelings are magnetic.” Momentum is a force that can take us any direction and has everything to do with beliefs and how we manage our thoughts.

[7:17] Beliefs are just thoughts you have thought over and over until they have become a non-negotiable belief. If beliefs come from the past, certainty comes from the future. Many believe they will never get pregnant, their body can’t hold a pregnancy, or it happens to everyone but them. These are not facts. These are beliefs colored by thoughts and emotions that you have experienced over and over until they have created a thought so strong you believe it as a fact.

[10:14] Potential from a scientific standpoint is kinetic energy waiting to come to life and move something.

Because 70% of our thoughts are on repeat, they are like a broken record based on past experiences playing over and over, all while creating evidence for our brains. Real certainty comes from daring to believe in the future circumstance you haven’t yet created and realizing that either way, you could feel bad. Our actions shift our circumstance and that becomes more evidence and certainty for the future.

[18:58] Mindfulness is key to helping us slow down our thoughts to observe them and see our brain as possibly lying to us and/or being stuck in the past.

[22:47] The brain doesn’t understand the reality of physically doing something, and the brain values emotions and feelings over thoughts any day. You have thoughts and they are stuck in the past at the moment creating the emotion of fear.

[27:37] Meditation begins.

 

References:

Fertile Minds on LibSyn

Fertile Minds on iTunes

American Board of Oriental Reproductive Medicine

The Life Coach School


 

 

Continue Your Journey:

@ladypotions4u on Twitter

@ladypotions4u on Instagram


photo credit : Elena Koycheva @lenneek


EPISODE 36 | MINI MINDFUL MOMENT | Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Mini Mindful Moments- Progressive Muscle Relaxation

Have you ever had the experience where you go to get a massage or acupuncture or maybe even a pedicure, and you have no idea that you are holding stress in your body until the practitioner starts working on you, and it hurts sooo good and you are suddenly aware of 

A. how stressed you are

B. that something hurts that you didn’t even realize 

C. how disconnected you are from your body

I have, guilty as charged. It happens, I get caught up in my to do lists or the occasional over extension of myself and I show up at one of my bi- monthly scheduled self care appointments and I’m suddenly aware that I am way more stressed than I thought. I see this happen all the time in my clinic with my fertility patients. I ask them if they have any pain or discomfort and they reply, I’m fine. Often times I will start with a technique of cupping to help relieve tension in the neck and back and as soon as I lay my hands on them, I can feel the knots. Sometimes I can see the tension in their necks, just by how they are holding themselves. So if this sounds like you, today’s exercise is going to help you get out of your head and into your body. It’s call PMR or progressive muscle relaxation. It’s great for people that live in their heads. It distracts them just long enough to reconnect with their precious body. Now if you have an acute or chronic pain you may want to skip that body or go lightly with it when we get there, as this technique involves tensing the muscle first and then relaxation. It’s kind of like tricking your muscles into relaxing, especially when you feel like you no longer know how to. So even if you’ve done this one before, do it with me. Sometimes its super nice to just let someone else guide you and really get you out of your head. 



EPISODE 34 | MINI MINDFUL MOMENT | Mindfulness 101

How do you set the tone for mindfulness & actually practice it?

Whether you are doing something prolific like making love, or something mundane like the dishes get in the habit of asking yourself these questions and then observing the answer you come up with, without judgment. 

What do I hear?

What do I feel?

What do I smell?

What do I see?

What do I taste?

Try it with me, wherever you are, whatever you are doing ask yourself these simple questions. Drop into the present moment and quit entertaining your past or your worries about the future. 

By taking the time to ask yourself these questions and thoughtfully responding, you allow yourself to me more fully engaged in the activity and deepen your experience.

Even though it is a practice that is seemingly more mental than following the breath because we are entertaining your mind, it really allows you to drop out of your head and into your body. 

It allows you take a break from what’s going on in your head, which chances are is the same conversation with yourself on repeat, and I’m willing to bet it’s probably not saying anything you would repeat to someone outloud. 

So if you want to change the way you feel, you have to start paying attention to what is really happening in the moment and not what your repetitious thoughts would like you to believe. 

It's so simple. 

You just have to commit to doing it! 

Let's get mindful together. 

Join me in the 29 Day Fertility Meditation Challenge- Begins August 26th


EPISODE 32 | MINI MINDFUL MOMENT | Ocean Breath

Mini Mindful Moments- Fertility Exercises For Every Day Use

Meditation is great, but what happens when you need to reset your nervous system during the day from Fight & Flight to Breed & Feed? Mini Mindful Moments are techniques for you to try out throughout your day to help you not only be more mindful and present, they will affect your nervous, immune, and endocrine systems biochemically in a positive way when practiced regularly. Enjoy! 

I suggest setting an alarm on your phone during your work day or after what you anticipate to be stressful events to help you get in the habit of creating a calmer you! Try it and see for yourself and remember what calm, cool, and confident you feels like.